“I reach my peak. I can’t speak. Call my [homie] Chic. Tell him that my will is weak. I’m sick of [homies] lyin’, I’m sick of [chicks] hawkin; matter fact of I’m sick talkin (BANG)” - The Notorious B.I.G., Suicidal Thoughts
Shut up! Just stop! I hear it.
I hear It saying nothing is going right in my life.
I hear It saying I should not be here.
I hear It saying I do not deserve to be here.
I hear It saying that my life is not worth living.
I hear It saying no one will care.
I hear It saying stop playing around and just end it all.
The constant battle going back and forth with It becomes a struggle that is too much to handle at times.
What can I do to make this happen?
I’ll try it…
I wake up in a hospital bed. They pumped my stomach. NO!
I can’t even kill myself correctly. Something must really be wrong with me!
SUICIDE is defined as the act of taking one’s own life voluntarily and intentionally.
One thing that is for certain, suicide is real and there is no coming back from it. Despite this fact, people proceed with the act and it affects to every race, gender, age and social class.
Where does the responsibility fall for this act that is described as voluntary and intentional?
Should we blame the individual for not acknowledging their issues and seeking help? Similar to my phase of Denial And Ignorance, a person cannot wrap their mind around what is really going on inside of their head. There could be an underlying reason for their suicidal thoughts and without proper help they proceed with the act.
Should we blame the person’s loved ones for not being more aware of the person’s state? Many times people are so caught up in their own lives (including myself), they forget to pay attention to others while missing signs possible issues.
Should we take a look at how society views mental health? Often times, society does not acknowledge mental health until after something drastic happens; such as the suicide of someone famous or a mass shooting where innocent people are harmed. The perception of suicide is insensitive to those that suffer. With a failed attempt of suicide, I have heard people say, “if you really wanted to do it, you would have done it” or “you are only seeking attention”. This insensitivity places individuals who suffer from any mental illness at a great disadvantage.
I was once told that death is ultimate way to close your eyes to the truth. A lack of truth on all parts contributes to the rise in suicide rates. In order to reverse the increased rate of suicide, we as a society must raise our mental health awareness, implement preventive measures and understand that it could happen to any one of us.