The Highest of Highs

Television has a way to occupy a portion of your evenings.   Especially with the help of social media, it is easy to get sucked into a series as everyone connects about the storyline via the Internet.   The new craze for many is the show Empire. The latest episode introduced an interesting plot twist occurred when a key character exposed that he is diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. During the episode, signs are evident that the character is experiencing a manic episode as he seems highly energetic, he knocks out a large amount of work, and he consuming a large amount of alcohol instead of taking his medication.

Bipolar Disorder is characterized by distinctive episodes, and Mania can be very problematic as symptoms include:

  • A decreased need for sleep
  • A feeling of invincibility
  • Racing thoughts

During my episodes of mania, sleep is not an option and I can function with little to no sleep.   Throughout this sleep hiatus, I feel like I can take on the world.

I am creative.

  • Writing becomes more fluent as my word flow easier
  • I come up with ideas to effectively get things done at work and school
  • I have "brilliant" ideas to change the world

Unfortunately, much of this stuff happens almost simultaneously in my head and completing one thing before moving to the next is almost impossible

I am strong physically and mentally

  • my performance in the gym becomes unmatched as I lift heavy amounts of weights
  • I am not easily phased by the opinions and use it to push me to new heights that may not really be obtainable
  • My muscles don’t get tired and multiple workouts in a day are not uncommon

High physical activity with no rest places a strain on the body and not taking heed to the opinions of others can lead to trouble.

I am emotional

  • I write notes to random people in my life at 3 in the morning.
  • I send text messages or call people that I think are up in the middle of the night and attempt to hold random conversations
  • I can be sensual and hyper-sexual

Often times there is not always someone there to talk to in the middle of the night. So I have hopped in the car just to drive. Hours later I find myself in a random place, not knowing how I got there.

I am invincible.

  • Hopping on motorcycle without a helmet and speeding down the highway.
  • Agreeing to things like Sky Diving and Bungee Jumping (Not saying that I wouldn't normally do this, but I actively look to do these things in this state)
  • I can out drink anyone when it comes to alcohol

Ever witnessed a kid run into the corner of a table and knock out their teeth and they keep playing as if nothing happen? (My cousin has done this twice LOL) Pain is irrelevant and is not a factor as I make decisions and perform actions.  There is no fear.



This feeling is very addicting. But what person does not like the feeling of being alive?

BUT...there is a downside to heighten sense of life. The body has physical limitations and if your mind does not acknowledge this, your physical being will not be able to keep up.

One thing to keep in mind with this extremely high mood; what goes up must come down.

Bipolar Disorder?

As the sedative begins to wear off, I find myself in a padded room, strapped in a attempting to figure out how I go to this point in my life. I glance at my family as they show expressions of concern. Unfortunately, the expressions did not include much hope, as they have never seen me so vulnerable.

Explanations from my mother and cousin of my recent behaviors were accompanied by “he was just not himself” and “I could tell something was wrong and something has been wrong for a while now”.

Prior to the medication, “I want it to stop” muffled by deep breaths and tears summed up my contribution to the initial evaluation.

I recall multiple telephone conversations with my mother as she constantly asked, “what is wrong?” and my symptoms but you mean to tell me that other people have experienced this before and there is a title for this condition?


Bi-Polar Disorder….

This was my introduction to the clinical term that describes what I have been experiencing for some time. It was new but it was also terrifying because I was not sure what it meant.

What does this mean for me in the future? I have to see a therapist? They can’t help me!

Does this certify that I am “crazy”?   PLEASE don’t tell anyone else that I’m crazy!


Bipolar Disorder is defined as a mental health disorder that is commonly referred to as manic depression. Three modes, each with distinctive features; Manic, Hypomanic, and Major Depressive episodes can categorize this disorder. (I will expound on these in later posts) Treatment for Bipolar Disorder involves medication and psychotherapy.

Welp, that’s it!   It’s official! I have been diagnosed, but what now?